Weeds and Water...

I was up and at 'em bright and early this morning around 5:30. I HAD to get some watering done. Our yard/gardens are absolutely burning up. Our trees have grown so much in the last couple years that there is lots of shade; hence lots of dirt and not much grass. Our yard is a royal mess let me tell you. I am seriously considering getting advice and help from a professional landscape guy just to see if maybe his crew can come clear out all the weeds, grass, etc. from our flowerbeds and prepare good soil in those places so I can actually get in there to plant something pretty. I would love to put some shade-loving grass in our yard as well, but we'll just have to do a price check on that. We might sow some rye grass for fall and winter and do something else in the spring. Might be more cost effective that way. All I know is, I don't think I have the energy or the time for my big flower gardens since we've allowed them to get so overgrown. I think once we get them cleared and planted I can keep up with them. Just need a little help. I'm sure there is a spiritual object lesson somewhere in all this. Hmmmmm... how 'bout this? ... Visualize a life that becomes cluttered with who knows what; confusion about what is important and what needs to be discarded; help from others in the Body of Christ who are strong in Godly wisdom regarding prioritizing and seeing God's heart. Those who are stronger come alongside to help guide and speak Truth into a person's life who is needing help. Lord knows we all need folks like that who will gird us up; help us and pray for us when we are weak and lose our way, don't we? I get so excited about my little plot of land out on FM 1860 when I see how God can use it, even when it's in disarray, to teach His ways and principles. His very own creation becoming a way to invest His love, compassion, and beauty into the lives of people. I just love that!

God Speaks To A Hungry Heart

After our discussion about prayer last night during lifegroup, I was troubled and wondering. It seemed that we were floundering; not knowing what the will of God is in light of our own or other people's painful circumstances. So much heartache in the world around us and frustration that we are many times unable to make a difference through prayer. As I have been seeking God these past few weeks on this very subject; asking Him to examine and convict my heart of any nook or cranny that is not fully surrendered to Him; I believe He is showing me, at least on a personal level, some things about my walk of faith with Him. His Word is His will and if that is true, then we can not dispute what He says. We cannot put more faith in even a good man's experience rather than in God's Word that "He exalts above all His name", can we? He says, "I wish above all things that you would prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers." He says, "Lay hands on the sick and they WILL recover." Why aren't they recovering?! Saying that sometimes God is in cahoots with the enemy and that it is His will to kill, steal, and destroy to teach us a lesson just does not cut it for me. That does not bear witness in my spirit. I don't know all the answers, but I do know that in the fogginess of my heart and mind within this imperfect state in which I find myself; I am persuaded that if there are any flaws; they are mine, not God's. I see that truly, by the love of Him who lives in me that I must NEVER stop crying out to God for folks who are sick and hurting. How can we? We must never stop expecting to see miracles in this lifetime. I'd rather step out on the water with Jesus, sink, and let Him help me up again than to never step out at all. There's just nothing new under the sun, is there? Believers have struggled with the subject of faith since the beginning of time. Let me just say; I'm so glad I have people to walk with who genuinely seek to know more; who passionately desire to walk with Jesus intimately and are open to hearing Truth even if we thought we knew and understood, only to find out we didn't. God is breaking down walls, growing us up, purifying our hearts, and raising us to another level with Him in our faith I believe. I find myself wanting to be more committed than ever, but wondering if I've got the guts to sacrifice my time, energy, resources, my agenda; my question to myself is... Will I, in fact, die to my flesh in order to see the face of God? Will I put aside those things which so easily beset me in order to walk in His miraculous power and love and then share what He has given with others? Will I be humble enough to let go of my own thoughts or the teachings of good well-meaning people who may even love Jesus; in order to allow the Spirit of God to teach me Himself? Those are the questions I am asking myself today. So, I am encouraged. God is my strong tower; my help in times of trouble and when I do not understand, He carries me and draws me close to His heart. A friend who I have known for nearly thirty years and who has voiced these same struggles, emailed me just yesterday and shared a scripture from Hebrews 11:13 which brings life into perspective I think, "All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth." We are passing through, aren't we? We will stand in faith because God is, not because we necessarily see with our eyes or touch with our hands. We walk with expectation of His manifested wonders, but are content to just be in His presence. Joy and blessing come even in the midst of the storms that rage around us, don't you think?

Random Thougts...

OK, so here I am writing into the airwaves once more. Who knows what I will say, because I have no plan to speak of. I love to read the blogs I visit, so thought I'd send something out that might, hopefully, be a blessing or cause a smile perhaps. What thoughts roll around in my head; mostly about God; how He is moving, how much I love Him. I think about how He is orchestrating my life together with my husband; the lives of my children and where He is leading. I think about how the world has gone crazy with outlandish going's on that are so far away from anything that would remotely honor God. Lord Jesus! What is this world coming too?... an end I believe, but not without God's constant reminders of how good He is; how faithful He is to carry us through the storms of life. The way of the world and the dark pit some unknowingly spiral down into can be overwhelming as I think and observe from a distance; feeling helpless to help or do anything about it. So much to pray about. Lord help me to hear Your voice that I might pray effectively. But even in the travail and pain of intercession, God brings a refreshing in the beauty of His creation. He gives me hope when I consider the gift He's given in my loving and generous husband, amazing children; my family and friends with whom God has blessed my life in so many ways. He has given me His Word that He exalts above all His name; words of Truth that show me the way to go; what to do and how to stand in faith when the world says it can't be done. There are moments when I feel that life has somehow passed me by; that perhaps I have not accomplished nearly a fraction of what God intended... yet how much life I have enjoyed and there are still years to come I'm sure. Lord, help me to make the most of the time You've given; help my life to somehow make a difference for Your glory. You say, "nothing is impossible through Christ", so let it be so as You look down on this imperfect life. In my own strength I am not much, but with You living on the inside of me Lord, I can do all things. I know the "whoever's" who are reading this didn't think they would get in on my prayer time. I didn't intend for it to be so either. Yet here I am and my thoughts turn toward Him; run after and thirst for Him as a deer pants for water; crying out to God for help, for joy, for purpose... and He is there with so much more.

What If...

Oh my gosh! I just did something!! I was looking at my new Country Gardens magazine and so much enjoyed reading their 'Back To Nature' article. At the end of it, it gave an email address where you can send something you might want to be published. I thought... what if.... ? I browsed through my "Mama's Thoughts and Other Stuff" file, copied and pasted "Seasonal Observations" and pressed 'send'. Who knows if it will even be read, let alone published, but just to send something I have written with a remote possibility of it being published was a big deal for me. Hmmmm... what if? :0)

My Kids...

My kids make my heart happy. Corey will laugh at that if he happens to read this, but it's true; totally and forever true! My kids make my heart happy. I was just sitting here at my computer and I have a photo of all eight of them on my desktop and they are beautiful! All together or each one individually as I look at their joyful faces; they make me smile. No two ways about it. I love that they are mine; I love that they are a blessing to others, that they are great parents and friends, and that they love each other. I love that they honor their father and that they love me too. I love hearing them laugh when we're all together and to hear their hearts when they have something important to say; something they are passionate about and believe is right and good. I may not have been the best mother in the world, though I wanted to be, but my kids turned out great! They are amazing adults and I can only give God glory for the outcome. When I look at my kids, I am brought... in the spirit, to my knees in worship; with a thankful heart that such wonderful gifts have been given to me.

This Earth Journey... A Long Dusty Road...

Walking this earth journey as a follower of Jesus is interesting. Interesting in the way things seem to unfold... at least for me anyway, and since there's nothing new under the sun, I suppose this is the way it goes for others as well. I see this journey as a dusty road; maybe because the earth is made out of dirt, or maybe because a journey implies a path and a road or river is poetic in some way. Who knows? Anyway, a dusty road set in the mountains let's say. I love the mountains, but this road could also be in a desert. That could be a good object lesson I suppose, couldn't it? Well, my road through life is made out of dirt, not sand, and pictured in the mountains in my mind. It is sometimes smooth and straight, but not for long and not often. Rather, it gets very narrow with steep cliffs where the rocks begin to tumble and if we're not careful we could go for a spill beyond repair into the abyss of destruction. This road sometimes climbs so quickly the air seems thin, I can hardly breathe, and my legs feel like rubber; barely able to stand. The weather can change in an instant as I travel where God would lead; from sunshine and beautiful breezes with wild flowers brilliantly displaying their beauty, to dark and ominous black clouds, lightning, and rain so fast and heavy I can't see where to walk. I slip and slide and grasp onto whatever my hands are able to reach. Life is treacherous... unless we stay in our little comfort zones where nothing can touch us; where dull and uneventful walls hold us from the adventure of it all; but who wants to stay in that kind of prison? Fear can hold us there... or laziness. We can live to be one hundred and never experience all that God had in mind for us to enjoy or learn of Him, or we have the choice to venture out onto this sometimes surprisingly dangerous road where potential heartache and challenges beyond our ability to navigate lay in wait, but praise be to God, He is there; He has already gone before us and is lovingly waiting to hold us in the safety of His arms. He is faithful to walk along those steep cliffs so we won't fall; ready to be a Light in the darkness of the storms that come along. He carries us if we get too weary to walk and will reveal His beauty and glory at every mountain top. This life journey with the creator of all that is; what a wonderful road to take with Him.

Birthdays; Time is Fleeting...

Hmmmmm... maybe the day before or the day after a birthday is better, when you are 50 something, than the actual day itself. I'm a big girl so surely I have outgrown this longing for birthday frivolity... but no, the childhood expectation of something wonderful and surprising sneaks in whether we like it or not; growing pains happen and we come face to face with the fact that no longer can we feel what we felt when we were six or sixteen. Getting older has somehow lost it's fascination and there is a certain melancholy sadness that falls when evening comes and the realization sets in confirming that another birthday was... well, it was just another day when it's all said and done. There are friends and family with their birthday wishes, "Happy Birthday" songs over the phone that bring a smile; a thoughtful note here and there, but at the end of the day, here I am... sitting alone in this quiet house. Wasn't it just a little while ago when the walls seemed to embrace the people I love with activity and laughter; the windows filled with light and the warmth of loving relationships? Time is such a brief encounter, isn't it? No longer are there balloons, silly games, and piles of presents in brightly colored paper. I suddenly want to shout, "It's too soon! I'm not ready to grow up!" Such is life, and no matter how hard we grasp at time; the shadows swallow up the day, and night comes with pitiful predictability. Ah, a glimmer of truth prevails however. Rest comes as well with the setting of the sun and then we somehow begin again. We have the choice to reach for something better!! Morning peeks through my lacy curtains and I find that life is good. Though our experiences drift and change with the passing of seasons and years, God surely has more; wonderful gifts, challenges, and amazing adventures more real than fleeting wrapping paper, baubles, play things, and knick knacks. So I say to myself, "Grow up! Make the most of your time, for time is precious!" I grab hold and pull myself out of the mire of self pity; the heaviness leaves and my feet feel light again. The sun faithfully begins to shine, revealing with clarity the beauty of what God has given. Why did I keep my eyes so low looking for those childhood memories to somehow come alive again when there were gifts far beyond my thinking right here; right now; all along?